A MIND OF ITS OWN, YOUR COCK

In ancient Rome, aristocratic boys were gifted bullae—amulet lockets—from their fathers to wear around their necks. Tucked inside each locket was a fascinum, a phallic charm thought to ward off evil and unwanted attention. The Oxford Dictionary of Etymology defines a fascinum as any magical spell or charm, but David M. Friedman, in his book A Mind of Its Own: A Cultural History of the Penis, brings this idea into the present with a clever observation: "Today, fifteen hundred years after the fall of Imperial Rome, anything as powerful or intriguing as an erection is said to be 'fascinating.'" That sentiment captures the spirit of the book—and my own experience reading it.

That's a bit how I feel about A Mind of Its Own: A Cultural History of the Penis by David M. Friedman—a truly fascinating book I just finished. While I agree with some reviews that certain perspectives are not fully represented, Friedman's deep dive into the phallic focus of our world is genuinely captivating.

This book has inspired me to consider starting a book club—so if you're interested, let me know!

Currently, I’m studying men’s sexual wellness and coaching with a sexologist from Australia, Cam Fraser (https://cam-fraser.com). This book is part of my current reading syllabus, and I found myself completely engrossed. Some sections made me pause and think, 'Wow, humans are truly fascinating—and sometimes horrific.

Cam Fraser also hosts an excellent podcast, Men, Sex & Pleasure, where he interviews a diverse range of guests—from clinicians to sex workers. The conversations are always insightful and thought-provoking.

I’m always striving to help the men I work with explore what their bodies—especially their penises—can teach them about their own energy and inner lives. The book and podcast both broaden that inquiry, prompting us to ask what our relationships with our bodies reveal about the complex, sometimes upside-down world we live in today.

As I was writing this, I received a message on one of my dating apps—a striking photo from a handsome man, accompanied by the question: “Hi man, are you interested in blowing a sexy straight daddy?” There’s so much to unpack in that moment alone, on so many levels.

As with much of my work, I find it’s best not done alone—well, except for masturbation, which I enjoy both solo and with others (as some of you know). Still, a book club could be a wonderful way to explore these fascinating titles together.

We could meet before workshops to discuss a chapter each week, or perhaps create an online or WhatsApp group. Or a book and group masturbation circle where we dress like Romans. You all know I’m open to ideas!