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Massage between consenting adults is a diverse and expansive art, offering profound healing in many forms—from relaxation and therapeutic touch to sensual and erotic exploration. The world of massage is vast, with countless descriptions and modalities. Many terms are technical yet vague, some are invented or used inconsistently, and others are simply marketing language created for spa menus. After more than 20 years of exploring this craft with men, I’ve seen many mixed messa

INTOUCHMEN is a curated community for men interested in wellness, body positivity, and personal growth through conscious touch and massage exchange. We are not a hookup group or sex club—our focus is on respectful bodywork, friendship, and self-awareness. We are a carefully curated group. Some people are a fit; others are not, and sometimes it simply comes down to timing. Our needs and group dynamics change, so we seek different types of men at different times. We strive to b

Yesterday, I had an interesting conversation with a new massage partner. He’s been following what I do across my various online spaces for years before actually reaching out and getting on my table. As you can imagine, the field of bodywork and men's education I navigate online is vast and varied. I have my massage therapy work and its various web presences, my men's touch and massage group with its own collection of sites, and personal profiles everywhere from Facebook to Gr

Last night was amazing. Seven men, myself included, had the opportunity to let it all hang out, let what we could melt away, and find some deeply healing relaxation in our shared touch. Not long ago, I stepped away from hosting my men's group for a bit—just to make some space to think. I’d been feeling a bit disconnected from the energy of group work, so I took some time to rest and let things settle. After about a month of contemplation, I started to miss so much about the g

What I love most about my work as a men’s wellness guide is providing a comfortable, safe space where men can openly discuss what’s truly on their minds—things they may not have the chance to express to others for all kinds of reasons. Yesterday, I had a meaningful conversation with a wonderful man about the need for blow job coaching. We explored a topic I think about often: as sensual and sexual beings, we have almost no training or safe spaces to learn, experiment, practic

Yesterday, while working with a new client during our first massage together, I was struck—as I often am—by how intimate massage is. By "intimate," I mean how deeply personal, one-on-one, and completely human this incredibly healing act can be. Usually, it’s just two—maybe three if you're lucky—people taking time out of an increasingly chaotic life to simply be present. We rarely allow ourselves uninterrupted time to simply exist, without any agenda. Massage offers this uniqu

Why aren't we men enjoying each other's bodies and energy at the gym anymore? Why have we let our phones steal the joy of looking, the energy of being present, and the camaraderie that comes from sharing the hard work we put in? Since moving to NYC in 1990, I’ve frequented gyms all over the tri-state area, BOTH GAY AND STRAIGHT, and have witnessed a devastating repression of male energy in locker rooms since the advent of handheld devices. One used to walk into a locker room

I've been deeply exploring texts about sexuality from many perspectives, broadening how I see and experience the ways we as humans relate to our bodies and connections. Right now, I'm reading The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy, who also wrote The Ethical Slut—a book I already highly recommend. So far, The Topping Book is fascinating, diving into the role of TOP in kink and BDSM play. A comunity I am not a member of or familiar with. I keep noticing how m

I'm excited to share that I've just completed an immersive two-day Lomi Lomi Hawaiian temple bodywork training, bringing fresh inspiration, new techniques, and a deeper appreciation for this beautiful healing tradition. Moving forward, I'll be weaving elements of Lomi Lomi into my massage sessions, allowing you to experience the unique flow, warmth, and heart of this Hawaiian practice firsthand. Lomi Lomi, meaning "to rub, knead, or soothe," is a sacred Hawaiian modality pass

I’m always eager to learn new skills, and after over 20 years as a massage therapist, I’ve found myself in some pretty interesting continuing education workshops! This week, I’m diving into lomi lomi—a traditional Hawaiian style and approach to bodywork. I know little about this approach and am excited to learn the details. I originally studied massage at the old-school Swedish Institute, before its corporate takeover. Back then, I was transported into a world of deep knowled

What I love most about massage and bodywork tutorials is their depth. The moment one lies on the massage table with the awareness that they are now not only receiving but also learning, things change; a door opens, and every possible human dynamic becomes a part of the experience, a path to investigate and an opertunity to learn what touch between two consenting adults can manifest. If you think about it, touch encompasses such a wide variety of human experience Just last wee

I ended a blog post the other day by saying, "Smile at someone today—the world needs simple kindness more than anything right now." That statement really got me thinking. As the rapidly advancing algorithmic world takes hold and we’re pulled in countless directions by overwhelming issues, it’s easy to feel individually lost—and when that happens on a mass scale, collective craziness skyrockets. I know I can get caught up in the endless mind game of, “How can I do anything to

I used to be so self-conscious of my long, lean body and didn’t feel comfortable being naked around others. Then, in my mid-20s, I decided I had to do something about it. I was really into masturbating then, just like I am today, so I got my nerve up and went to a jerk-off club in New York that I had heard about. This was back in the late 1990s, before we even shared our pics online. I remember the feeling to this day: stripping it all off and walking around in only socks and

Yesterday, I spent a glorious day at Gunnison Beach soaking up the sun, sand, waves, dolphins, and—yes—the naked people all around! It’s one of my favorite places because I love seeing the human body in its natural element. What fascinates me most are the postures and how time and habits shape the bodies we grow old with. The variety is just incredible! That old motto, "use it or lose it," really rings true. It’s not about a beauty standard—it’s about a life standard, in my o

Last night, we hopped back onto the tables for a vibrant and electrifying eros massage exchange, and the energy was absolutely incredible. The buzz of coming together quickly gave way to what I always playfully call the quietest social club in NJ. There I was, naked in a cozy room with six other men, and as I looked around, all I could see was pure concentration, meditation, and relaxation—what a sight to behold! Hands gliding, bodies shimmering with oil, everyone was deeply

Somewhere in the 50s, life can get strangely quiet, even when nothing is wrong. The job is handled. The bills are handled. The phone is always nearby. The routines are familiar enough to run on their own. There may be no major crisis, no medical scare, no family drama that cannot be managed. Just work, errands, food, sleep, scrolling, a little pleasure, a little news, and the current political shit show humming in the background. From the outside, this can look like stability

One of the most rewarding aspects of weekly man4man massage exchange nights is the opportunity to transform these gatherings into a dynamic laboratory for touch and sensation. Whether you are a seasoned participant or just beginning to explore this world, these nights invite you to experience something fresh and deeply engaging. At the heart of this experience lies a simple but powerful question: how do you use your body, and what energy do you bring to your touch? Understand

Touch is one of the most fundamental ways we connect with ourselves and others. Yet, many of us experience it only on the surface, missing the rich layers of sensation and awareness it can offer. Recently, I had a hands-on tutorial that opened my eyes to how simple massage strokes can unlock deep somatic energy and body awareness. Exploring somatic massage strokes to enhance body awareness Understanding Touch Beyond the Surface Most people think of massage as a relaxing treat

Three things I learned or was again made aware of about bodywork this week. No matter what the book’s cover looks like, you never really know how someone feels about touch until you dive in! It’s like opening a mystery box—sometimes what you find is surprising, delightful, and completely unexpected. You might spot someone and think, wow, they must be totally at ease in their body, only to find they’re juggling a circus of insecurities. Or, you might dismiss someone with a qui

Let’s talk about shaking things up! I’ve always loved exploring new and exciting sensual experiences—whether it’s hooking up with someone new, trying a different approach to consensual touch, or just getting curious about what turns us on. For many of us, our understanding of sexuality is a patchwork of stories, media, and personal adventures. But what if we took a moment to tune in, get mindful, and expand our erotic self-awareness? When was the last time you switched up you