Exploring the feelings of pleasure, how we are all on different paths, and how we can start to think about coming or cummmmming together.

What’s truly amazing about self-touch and exploring the feelings of pleasure in your own body is that there are absolutely no rules when it’s just you. There are no molds to fit into, no agendas to meet—it’s simply you enjoying yourself. This is your time to play, to discover all that your body has to offer. I’ve always seen masturbation as play, as discovery, and as a way to better understand what my body likes. Moderation is still important, and of course, consent is always needed when anyone else is involved.

My own journey with self-touch has always been about discovery and play, not following rules. This curiosity has recently led me to pay more attention to trends in men’s sexuality. Yesterday, I was listening to a podcast about male sexuality, where two men discussed their views on holding back ejaculation during self-touch. As many of you know, I often edge—holding back my climax for days, building my energy higher and higher. But just because this works for me doesn’t mean it’s the only way. For these two men, the idea was founded upon. I did not agree with them on this, however: making a strict rule to never ejaculate isn’t healthy either, rules box us in. For me, the buildup of energy creates a wonderful experience of self-pleasure, which is why I share it with you. I also share that when you do decide to let one fly, be as behind that as you are in any other practice, and enjoy.

My personal exploration has also inspired me to consider returning to school to delve deeper into men’s sexual wellness. I’d love to continue being a guide along this path. Both of these men use the term “Men’s Coach.” That’s a term I personally struggle with—I see a coach as someone who takes on responsibility for your success, whereas a guide empowers you to fully own your success. I’m definitely leaning towards being a guide.

This curiosity about men’s sexuality has also made me reflect on current trends and how they can shape our experiences.

I’m passionate about the deep learning that comes from truly listening to your body. For men, our sexual energy can be an incredible guide or a frustrating force. It can open us up to endless possibilities and provide deeply satisfying pleasure, or it can also frustrate, deceive, or even control us if we don’t know how to manage it.

One example is the trend called "gooning." To define it clearly: the web describes a goon as “a hired thug, gangster, or muscle used for violence, intimidation, or coercion. It also commonly refers to a stupid, foolish, or awkward person. Synonyms include thug, hoodlum, strong-armer, oaf, lout, and blockhead…” In the self-touch community, "gooning" describes men becoming almost unconscious in how they touch themselves and relate to their bodies and others—focused solely on sensation, sometimes to the point of losing deeper awareness. To me, this doesn’t feel balanced, and I think its popularity in the self-touch community deserves a closer look. Are these the men you want to be around?  Why does our solo sex have to be stupid, porn-fueled, or goon-like?

From my perspective, I truly believe the journey is where the beauty, the discovery, and the truth lie. So often, when we’re focused only on the goal, we miss out on the subtle energy and experiences along the way. This is why I encourage conscious exploration—balancing pleasure with awareness.