Let's demystify touch, educate men about being touched, and stop censoring conversations about one of the most profound human experiences.

From birth, through life, to death, touch is needed more than anything. After 20+ years at it, I am humbled every day by its power.

One of the things I find most incredible about touch and massage is how it reminds us of what it means to be truly human. It’s about coming together—using our bodies, minds, and energy—to deeply feel, connect, and share presence. In a world dominated by algorithms and virtual interactions, we risk losing the realness of feeling, the energy exchange, and the true connection. Without physical contact, we miss out on something vital. Just think about babies who aren’t held or touched—they simply don’t develop. And the elderly decline without touch much more rapidly. Touch is a bridge to our humanity.

I once worked in hospice massage, where we held weekly meetings with the entire care team for each patient. At first, massage was viewed as a luxury, but that perception quickly changed. The criteria for staying in hospice care were strict, and when massage was introduced, patients began to thrive—sometimes so much that they no longer qualified for hospice. Our touch—often just a simple hand or foot massage, or gentle contact on the head, shoulders, or back—had profound effects. Some doctors, after seeing these results, struggled to determine whether patients truly only had a week left. This experience showed me firsthand just how transformative touch can be, even in the most vulnerable moments.

Touch between men brings all sorts of dynamics. I’ve watched many men wrestle with their feelings about being touched by another man, and I’ve met others who crave this connection so deeply that it’s almost overwhelming. When I started my massage career, I set an intention: to let the universe send me the people who would best resonate with my touch and who I would learn the most from. Twenty years in, it’s never failed. I’ve worked with an amazing variety of people—from an 88-year-old woman in her last days, to men experiencing same-gender touch for the first time, to Dr. Ruth (if you don’t know her, look her up!). All have benefited from conscious, consensual touch. Dr. Ruth once told me that she’s never fallen asleep during a massage; instead, she becomes more attentive, seeing massage and sex as rare, uninterrupted opportunities to truly feel alive.

I truly believe all forms of touch—relaxing, therapeutic, sensual, erotic—are essential. At different points in life, everyone needs something different. What’s especially fascinating is witnessing how energy unfolds, and watching people open up, reconnect, and reclaim parts of themselves. Over the years, I’ve developed a practice I call conscious touch: touch that’s openly discussed and consented to between adults. When both people are fully on board, that’s when the deepest connection and healing can happen.

Some people come to me for relaxation and therapeutic touch; others seek sensual or erotic connection—or anything along the spectrum. Especially with men, when we consciously allow erotic energy to be present and explored, while keeping the interaction focused on touch and not sex, these sessions can become some of the most powerful and transformative I’ve ever witnessed. Sometimes, the greatest breakthroughs come from simply being present and honest with each other about what we want to feel.

I want to be clear: when I share examples of erotic touch in my work, it’s never meant to entice or sensationalize. Exploring this kind of energy is never a starting point—it only happens after deep trust is built, clear communication is established, and both people genuinely want to go there. In my experience, the most difficult or uncomfortable touch happens when both parties aren’t aligned or communicating openly. It’s those grey areas where misunderstandings can arise. My biggest advice: always talk before you touch. Be conscious of your energy—including your thoughts, which are a form of touch we’ll explore more later.

In my men’s group, I worked with a man whose sensual energy and mine flowed beautifully together. He allowed his body to open up and truly enjoy my hands exploring every part of him. The other evening, when my own arousal pressed against the bottom of his foot as I worked his calves, it created a powerful, electric energy for both of us. Another man I work with enjoys touching me as I touch him, and the energy exchange is incredibly intense—sometimes I have to hold back my own excitement to keep the focus on him. I have also found that touching myself during these sessions helps me build energy; Now, in the wrong context, this could be creepy and grossly inappropriate, yet in a container of consent and communication, when this energy rises, and I share it through my hands and the touch I give back, it becomes powerfully healing for both of us. Learning how to do this and channel energy consciously is something I encourage everyone to explore.

My one goal in every session is to help the person relax and truly feel. Sometimes, this means simply holding a firm, supportive grip—no rush, no expectation, just presence. When was the last time someone just held you, touched you, or moved with you without any agenda—just to help you notice what your body is really experiencing? That kind of presence can be transformative. Even subtle, intentional touch—like gently cupping or holding of specific body parts—can create powerful sensations. It’s all about conscious, intentional connection. I encourage everyone to approach touch with curiosity and openness, and to notice how it can transform not just your body but your sense of self.

Touch is broad. Touch is essential. When it’s consented to and consciously shared, touch becomes one of the most deeply human experiences we can have. It connects us to ourselves, to others, and to the world around us. The more we embrace touch with intention and awareness, the more we reclaim our humanity.