Do not be a CREEP!

Here are some things I learned -once again- this week during massage sessions.

First and foremost: always ask for the type of massage you want. Communication is absolutely key—I know I say this all the time, but it makes a huge difference. This week, I had a new client who, because he couldn't communicate this basic thing, turned what could have been a nice massage into an uncomfortable situation. I clearly explained the services I offer and those I do not. He agreed, but still, there were wandering hands and inappropriate comments. All the while, I was thinking, NO WAY DUDE.

With that in mind, I want to share another tip, especially for men. Massage, by its nature, can be a sensual experience between two men. However, something I NEVER do is share details about your massage session—what your body is like, or what our interaction is like—with anyone else. Each massage is unique and completely private. So, when you talk with your friends or refer someone to a massage therapist, DO NOT describe your experience in a way that sets expectations for them. When they come to see me, our experience will likely be completely different.

Back to the man on my table: He was inappropriate because, even after being told otherwise, he was still reaching for a sensual touch. I hope it's clear why that's not okay. Subtle or not, it's important to communicate openly and honestly.

When someone says, “You’re welcome to get more comfortable,” what do you think that means? What this client really wanted to ask was, "Do you work in the nude?" or "Would you consider working in the nude?" Frankly, I have no problem with these questions because I can answer them directly and honestly when they’re asked openly.

When you make assumptions in your mind or walk into a massage with a fantasy playing in your head, I can guarantee that your massage partner will sense it. Be clear about your intentions from the start and avoid all that grey area.