SAFE SPACES FOR MEN _Take the blow job, for example...
What I love most about my work as a men’s wellness guide is providing a comfortable, safe space where men can openly discuss what’s truly on their minds—things they may not have the chance to express to others for all kinds of reasons.
Yesterday, I had a meaningful conversation with a wonderful man about the need for blow job coaching. We explored a topic I think about often: as sensual and sexual beings, we have almost no training or safe spaces to learn, experiment, practice, and receive real feedback on the things we love to do and want to do well.
Take the blow job, for example—when was the last time you received feedback (excuse the pun) on how you gave or received? Both are deeply engaging acts that deserve honest contemplation.
In our backward and upside-down world, we turn to books and porn for ideas. Both can offer inspiration, but neither provides real, honest feedback. As men, we deserve more. How we create that is worth serious contemplation.
As we talked and shared a massage, it never became a sexual encounter—so please don’t misunderstand the intent of this post. My pants stayed on the entire time. Still, the experience got my creative juices flowing, awakened my sensual energy, and set my mind exploring how ideas like this could be addressed.
At one point during our massage, I was standing at the head (pun intended) of the table, massaging my partner’s neck, and I thought: I could create a workshop that not only teaches men how to please their partners with their mouths—a skill I feel very qualified to share, given my experience—but also shows the receiver how to give a proper head massage while receiving.
With that in mind, here are a few things to consider. Massage and men’s wellness are vast and varied. Sometimes we’re talking about relieving tension in our muscles; other times, we’re exploring why men don’t have safe spaces to learn about giving and receiving pleasure.
Ultimately, I hope that by opening these conversations and exploring new ways for men to connect, learn, and support each other, we can create a world where vulnerability is celebrated, and authentic growth is possible. Whether it’s improving our physical well-being or deepening our understanding of pleasure, we all benefit from spaces where curiosity and honesty are welcome. Let’s keep questioning, keep talking, and keep building the safe environments we need to thrive as men.
