Some wonderful feedback worth sharing.

I have received some wonderful feedback and support from many Intouchmen group members, and I want to sincerely thank you all. Your feedback is truly the key to how groups grow, adapt, and refocus on what matters most to their facilitators and members.

During this time of transition, I’ve also been reflecting on the kind of group dynamic I hope to foster in the future. Your perspectives are helping me clarify my own needs, which will ultimately make things better for everyone. During this time off, I plan to keep our blog going with insights into the art of man-to-man touch.

As a massage therapist, I naturally maintain professional boundaries with my clients, as in all therapeutic relationships. The hands-on nature of man-to-man massage makes these boundaries essential—sometimes challenging, often flexible, but always guided by clear communication and unanimous consent. This is a key point I always emphasize. Different men desire, and need different types of touch at different times.

When I started exploring group massage exchanges, I hoped it would be a space where we could not only share this wonderful craft, but also build real bonds and friendships both on and off the table. Reading your responses, I see that—even in small ways—this vision has become a reality, with a few men, and I truly appreciate that. As I move forward with my ideas about group work, I want to make these positive examples an even deeper part of the foundation for my next iteration of INTOUCHMEN.

In the world of online connections, Instagram shares, and quick check-ins over text, we’ve lost something profoundly important: the value of physical presence, reciprocal friendships, and the unique energy that comes from being together in person and formulating bonds. Think about a team: if its members are strangers, the flow on the field is completely different. (That might be my first-ever sports reference, but I think it makes the point!) Something I have been learning through group work revolving around intimate energetic exchange, such as group massage, is that if touch becomes the only form of communication, a void begins to appear. This void is my next quest to investigate filling.

I believe that involvement means showing up, asking questions, showing genuine interest, and making an effort to connect our lives with others. We used to joke at the massage club that the first rule is not to talk about the massage club—a playful reminder of its unique space and members' privacy. Also, that we are the quietest social club of all time, because of the deeply relaxing nature of our exchanges. Where we add a more social element is at the forefront of INTOUCHMENS' evolution, and ideas are already taking shape. Feedback on this is welcome.

I recognize that everyone has a life, and that men seek touch for many reasons. Yet, I also see and feel a deep loneliness—especially among men—that needs to be addressed and supported as well in safe, welcoming spaces.

A few compelling points came up in conversations after my stepping back from the group post. I feel these are things we can all reflect on and potentially grow from, both as individuals and as a community.

One member shared that he once felt discouraged from attending our group after an experience in a three-way massage session. While on the table, he felt that the two men working on him were more focused on connecting with each other than on including him in the experience. Three-way sessions (in massage or sexy time) are always a challenge to keep each member feeling included.

A few people expressed concern that professional boundaries might be blurred if they engaged with me more specifically. This surprised me, especially considering the vulnerability and trust we've developed together over many shared experiences. Am I not as naked and involved as the rest of you?

Some men pointed out that they were on personal journeys, and used their time in the group to find motivation, skills, and the support they needed to re-engage with other parts of their lives. This is truly wonderful and always welcome. Yet a deeper dive into the shared, varied knowledge and experiences we all bring could help even more.

Another man observed that massage therapists usually do not form bonds with clients outside of a therapeutic setting. I want to clarify that, while Intouchmen is instructional, it’s not my professional therapy practice. My workshops are simply an opportunity for me to share a craft I love, as a fellow human being with the same needs as everyone else. I’m just as present and engaged as the rest of you. My perspective on coaching, teaching, and facilitation is that we are all equals; you are my guide as much as I am yours. You have needs, and I have needs.

So, as I consider my next steps, I want you to know that I am listening to you all, still practicing massage, and always available for one-on-one sessions and touch tutorials. You can see more about that on brlmt.com.

I also enjoy exchanges from time to time. Just keep in mind—massage is my profession, so if your only outreach is for massage exchange, it may not always be possible. It’s a bit like becoming friends with your accountant and then inviting them to dinner just to talk about your spreadsheets!

Good vibes to you all.

Brian