THE SKINNY on being naked.

I used to be so self-conscious of my long, lean body and didn’t feel comfortable being naked around others. Then, in my mid-20s, I decided I had to do something about it. I was really into masturbating then, just like I am today, so I got my nerve up and went to a jerk-off club in New York that I had heard about. This was back in the late 1990s, before we even shared our pics online. I remember the feeling to this day: stripping it all off and walking around in only socks and sneakers. I’m sure I was hard as a rock, and at that time just unzipping my cock made it even harder. I remember it was dark and moody, and the rooms were full of other naked men all stroking their dicks. The policy was strict then, like it still is at this club today—hands-on only. This was still during the time of conscious fear about the spread of HIV. I remember wanting to feel the cocks of all the men, fumbling around, looking and learning. At one point, a group of older guys came over to me. I was maybe 24, 6'1", and I’m sure no more than 155 lbs. I was a skinny twink before the term twink was even in the zeitgeist. One of the men leaned in and said, “I’ve always wanted to be long like you.” I thought, Oh… do guys actually enjoy this lanky, skinny, long body? With that, my journey began into more and more acceptance of the body I was given in this life. Now, approaching 54, I’m in a different phase of life, and wow, I am so happy for this metabolism! Granted, putting on muscle is like building the Empire State Building by hand—a long and arduous process—but the “dad bod” scenario is not a problem for me. We all meld and morph and change, and I still love being naked; of course, I'm still masturbating, and every day I get deeper and deeper into inhabiting this body.

Gaining perspective on your body often means stepping outside your comfort zone and trying new things. As we age, we tend to fall into habits—whether physical or mental—that shape who we are. I encourage every man I work with to spend some time contemplating the habits and voices in your head that tell you who you are, and to challenge them. You’ll be surprised at how much you can change.

Stay safe, stay sexy, stay aware, and smile at someone today; the world needs simple kindness more than ever.